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Archive for February, 2010

Well, I wasn’t too far off…

The good news. My lung is still clear and the bone mets don’t appear any different. The bone mets can be difficult to see in scans because of the medication I am on but I don’t have any pain and what they could see of the bone mets in previous scans was that there isn’t anything happening with them. I am thankful for all of that.

The not-so-good news… “Numerous (liver) metastases are again seen, many of which are new or larger. The largest new lesion is a 1.5 x 2.0 cm ….” this is taken from the report I have a copy of. 1.5 x 2.0 cm seems big to me and there are evidently multiple lesions that are that big, which makes me uncomfortable but my liver is functioning properly so it isn’t all bad. So we attack.

The oncologist is recommending going back onto chemo. I’m not loving that idea but I can’t think of anyone off hand who ever loves the idea of going onto chemo. She also wants me to stay on the Femara, which is an aromatase inhibitor which is to prevent any estrogen from being produced in my system although I’m learning this week that they don’t suppress it all… but that is another post. This also puts the suggested radiation, that I had not yet agreed to anyway, on the back burner for now as it was a preventative measure against a potential recurrence in the skin of my right breast and not due to any actual cansir cells actually found there.

I’m going to investigate the chemo she suggested. I’m going to talk to some people who I met at the conference on Alternative and Complementary therapies and I already have an appointment with one local doctor who works with supplements and will likely try to make appointments with at least one or two others as well as a nutritionist recommended by some fabulous warrior women I met at the conference and who I am convinced were put in my path for a reason.

They want to start the chemo this week, and I was JUST getting my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes back to a reasonable length and my nails were finally recovered. I still have some neuropathy in my toes from the first go round and some skin sensitivity on my back. I had thought that was gone but it was just masked by how much more uncomfortable my chest was from the mastectomy. On the upside, my new rack is coming along nicely so I’ll look good in bathing suits this summer even if I am bald again.

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Doctors are fine with telling you over the phone when everything is great with test results. Hopefully they do realize that when we hear “The doctor would like to see you to review your test results.” that we understand that the end of that story is not generally “because they are fabulous and everything is going the way we want them to.” Usually being told that the doctor wants to see us to go over results is going to send us into a panic, and so it did today when that was the statement I got from the nurse at my oncologist’s office. “The results are too complicated to go over on the phone.” Great. What is THAT supposed to mean?!

Fortunately I have other survivors I can call who can talk me through it and I can realize that even if it isn’t what I want to hear, we can try something different. My guess is that the medication I’m on isn’t working so the oncologist will suggest something else, I have no idea what or exactly what the situation is right now but we will tackle it. It is a stumbling block. Tomorrow I’ll find out what exactly I’m up against and what the oncologist recommends. I’ll also be in a better position to start working those complementary and alternative therapies I learned about in January and can see the nutritionist and whoever else I think will be helpful for me. I’ve already made an appointment with a doctor who does a lot with supplements. I’ll find out how familiar he is with inflammatory bc and find out what he has to stay and continue to attack this stuff.

It could be worse…

Lyrics from a favorite song by a Christian band called Kutlass… I listen to this song almost every day…

What Faith Can Do Lyrics

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds when
You don’t have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That’s what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

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